genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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