I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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