Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
