Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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