Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
