I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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