i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
do nipples grow back?
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