You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
