a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
