I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
