My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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