At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
