dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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