id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
