this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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