How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Randomize
