The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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