Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize