i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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