Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize