She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
