no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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