Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
