quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
