Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
