All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm too high and old for this...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
