I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
