good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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