mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
