I need help removing her.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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