yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
