so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
