I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
