I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
40s are totally the cure
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
