So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She made me pour olive oil on her.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
