Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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