My first STD was from a foam party
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
