so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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