I cockslap morals
You can't special order awesome
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
