Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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