i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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