By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
