Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
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