What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
