that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
