Ketchup is God's man juice
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
