Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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