you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She needs sedatives and a leash
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
we should paint friendship bongs
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
