I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
