one might say we're banned from that church
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
