She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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