Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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