just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
