I need to stop coming to work sober
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize