Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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