sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
