I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i dont even know how to be here
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
