you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
