i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize