Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
