wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
