Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
