we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
This house was built for laser tag.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's official drugs can't kill me
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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