We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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