No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
cat food counts as protein by the way
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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