its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
